People v. Harvard Law

People v. Harvard Law

Thursday, June 16, 2005

2006 Parody: Act 2, Song 1: "December 1984 (Oh, What a Night)"

HARVARD LAW SCHOOL
PARODY 2006
"FINDING BLACHMAN CONTRIBUTORILY NEGLIGENT"


Act 2, Song 1
"December 1984 (Oh, What a Night)"

Setting: Late September, 2004, Hauser Hall, Harvard Law School, office of Professor Laurence Tribe. Tribe has just called Ron Klain, a high-powered attorney in Washington, D.C. As a 1L, Klain served as a research assistant to Tribe on a book, finished in December, 1984, and published in 1985, on the selection of Justices to the U.S. Supreme Court, entitled "God Save This Honorable Court."

Tribe has just finished reading the Weekly Standard article documenting the book's extensive plagiarism from a book by University of Virginia historian Henry Abraham. Tribe asks Klain whether he, while drafting chapters of the book for Tribe, was the one who copied the material -- and, if so, why he did it. Klain makes a full confession.

Jeremy Blachman, narrator:
As I've explained previously, we based our "I'm Larry Tribe" skit in our 2005 Parody on Professor Tribe's initial statement (issued Sept. 26, 2004) taking full responsibility for the extensive borrowing of language from Henry Abraham's book. Actually, it turns out that the plagiarism was committed by Ron Klain, the 1L hired by Tribe to write much of the book for him. Our past songs concerning this matter have made only glancing reference to Klain. Because Klain appears in the pantheon of noted Harvard plagiarists, Klain obviously deserves his own song. Just think how amazing an entire song on Klain's confession to plagiarizing from Abraham's book would have been if we'd included in the 2005 Parody!


"December, 1984 (Oh, What a Night)
(Sung by Ron Klain)

(Here is a MIDI file in case you want to sing it!)

Oh, what a night
Late December back in '84
Did what I had never done before
As I remember, what a night!

Oh what a night!
"Borrowing" from Henry Abraham
I was never gonna be the same
What a scholar, what a night!

Oh I, I got a funny feeling when I glanced at his book
And I, as I recall I had to take a look

(Oh what a night!)
Hypnotizing, mesmerizing me
It was everything "God Save" should be
So I copied, what a night!

(Instrumental)

I felt a rush like a double hit of no-doz
Whipping my wrist around, and taking my writing over

(Oh what a night!)

(Instrumental)

Oh I, I got a funny feeling when I glanced at his book
And I, as I recall I had to take a look

(Oh what a night!)

Why didn't I drop just one lousy cite?
Guess it's ‘cause I did not give a damn
But what a scholar, Abraham!

(Instrumental)

I felt a rush like a double hit of no-doz
Whipping my wrist around, and taking my writing over

Oh what a night!
(Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit)
Oh what a night!
(Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit)
Oh what a night!
(Doo dit doo dit dit doo dit doo dit dit)
Oh what a night!


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