Justice Scalia sings "Pour Some Souter on Me"

(NOTE: Disclaimer regarding this blog's non-affiliation with Harvard is here.)

To mark Justice Antonin Scalia's appearance this week at Harvard Law School, here is a video (embedded below) focusing on Justice Scalia, from the Drama Society's March, 2008, Parody production.

It features an epic duel between Justice Scalia and "The Gladiatort," to the tune of "Pour Some Sugar on Me" (#2 on VH1's list of the 100 Greatest Songs of the '80s) by Def Leppard (Youtube video here).

The parody lyrics are below. Enjoy!

UPDATE (11/18): By popular demand, here is a short version of the video (with just the song, and with captioned lyrics), entitled "Justice Scalia vs. The Gladiatort":

 

 

 

 

LYRICS 

 "Pour Some Souter on Me"

Sung by Justice Antonin Scalia 

Gladiatort:

Born fully formed from the pillars of Langdell
Fled the L.L.M.s 'cause I couldn't take the smell
Raised out in the woods by a pack of wolverines
Wiped my ass with pine cones badgers 'cause I'm too tough for leaves

Scalia:

 Intimidates opponents, rends 'em limb from limb
Higher loving God, I'll make the Court Supreme
He don't keep kosher, kosher tries to keep him!
Don't keep kosher 'cause it tries to keep me!
Low-hangin', ha-ranguin' litigatin' stud
Low-hangin', ha-ranguin' propriatin' stud
Wrote his brief with ninja stars in gator blood
Write it down with ninja stars in gator blood
Yeah!

Boys:

Clerk for you?
I think I'll pass
Hey Supreme Court
Kiss my ass!

Scalia (chorus):

Pour some Souter on me
And I will cut him up
Rebut Kennedy
With fisticuffs
Ruth, John, Steve, and Sammy
Aren't man enough

Hung like a Canadian moose
Like a locomotive got a steel caboose
Yeah!

Gladitort:

Listen!
How dare you stand there and tell me what to do
Fuck the horse you rode in on and fuck you too!
Hairy like a barber shop, too sexy to be true
Even Clarence Thomas thinks I'm sexier than you
When I masterbate the magazine cums too!

Scalia:

I seen Girl Scout cookies manlier than Breyer
I'm pretty sure that Justice Stevens pre-dates fire
I'll drop-kick Thomas, put Alito in his place
Don't care about his glasses, gonna punch him in the face!
Yeah! Yeah!

Boys:

Clerk for you?
Think I'll pass
Hey Supreme Court
Kiss my ass!

Scalia (repeat chorus):

Pour some Souter on me
And I'll cut him up
Rebut Kennedy
With fisticuffs
Ruth, John, Steve, and Sammy
Aren't man enough . . .

Tony, hit the road
You bear an odd resemblance to a hairy toad
Yeah!

(Guitar Hero challenge)

Blue, red, blue, blue, red
Orange, green, green, green
Blue, red, blue, blue, red
Orange, whammy bar, green
Blue, red, blue, blue, red
Orange, green, green, green
Star power! Whammy bar!!!!!!

Pour some Souter on me
Pour some Souter on me
Pour some Souter on me
Yeah! Souter me!